Female Prayer

Before I lay me down to sleep

I pray for a man who’s not a creep,

One who’s handsome, smart and young,

One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,

One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he’s gainfully employed,

When I spend his cash, he won’t be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door,

Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man, who’ll make love to my mind,

Knows what to answer to ‘How big’s my behind?’

I pray that this man will love me to the end,

And never attempt to hit on my friend.

And as I pray beside my bed,

I look down at the clown you sent me instead.

Amen