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I had to stop drinking. I had 18 bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my wife Lara to empty the contents of each and every one of them down the sink, or else.
I said that I would and I proceeded with the unpleasant task.
I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass, which I drank.
I extracted the cork from the second bottle and did likewise, with the exception of one glass, which I drank.
I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the bottle down the sink, which I drank.
I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank.
I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and then threw the rest down the glass, which I drank.
I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle. I then corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the four.
When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, opened the glasses, corks, bottles and sinks with the other which were 29, and as the house came by I counted them again, and finally I had the house in one bottle which I drank.
I am not under the affluence of incohol, as some tinkle peep I am, I am not half as thank as you might drink. I fool so feelish I don’t know who is more drunker I stand here the longer I get. OH MY HEADY BLOOD.
