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A man owned a small farm. The State got a tip that he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an inspector out to interview him.
“I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,” demanded the inspector.
“Well,” replied the farmer, “there’s my farm hand who’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him £550 a week plus free room and board.
“The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her £300 per week plus free room and board.
“Then there’s the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about £10 per week, pays his own room and board.
But, I buy him a bottle of scotch every Saturday night, and he also sleeps with my wife occasionally.”
“That’s the guy I want to talk to … the half-wit,” says the inspector.
“That would be me,” replied the farmer.