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One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,’What setting do I use on the washing machine?’
‘It depends,’ I replied. ‘What does it say on your shirt?’
He yelled back, ‘University of Texas.’
And they say blondes are dumb…
*****
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, ‘I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.’
The woman replies, ‘I’ll miss you.’
*****
‘It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,’ Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, ‘Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?’
‘Probably that I married you for your money,’ she replied.
*****
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
*****
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I’ll beat him to death. AMEN
*****
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
*****
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder ‘Instruction Manual.’
