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Questions posed to kids:
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, she should keep the chips and dip coming.
Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who
they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before,
and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
Kirsten, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know
the person FOREVER by then.
Camille, age 10
No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
Freddie, age 6 (Very wise for his age)
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don’t want any more kids.
Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
Lynnette, age 8 (Isn’t she a treasure)
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
Martin, age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
Craig
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they’re rich.
Pam, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.
Howard
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
I don’t know which is better, but I’ll tell you one thing. I’m never going to have sex with my wife. I don’t want to be all grossed out.
Theodore, age 8
It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
Anita, age 9 (Bless you child)
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?
Kelvin
And the No 1 Favourite is…
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck.
Ricky, age 10
*****
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America ..
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
*****
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
*****
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D- I-A-L’
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this kid)
*****
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.
*****
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
*****
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
*****
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘ I’
MILLIE: I is…
TEACHER: No, Millie…Always say, ‘I am.’
MILLIE: All right… ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’
*****
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
*****
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
*****
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It’s the same dog.
*****
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
