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Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.
Cora Harvey Armstrong
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
Helen Hayes (at 73)
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
Janette Barber
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
Lily Tomlin
A male gynaecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
Carrie Snow
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
Laurie Kuslansky
My second favourite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
Erma Bombeck
Old age ain’t no place for sissies.
Bette Davis
A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. A woman must do what he can’t.
Rhonda Hansome
The phrase “working mother” is redundant.
Jane Sellman
Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.
Jennifer Unlimited
Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
Charlotte Whitton
Thirty five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
Caryn Leschen
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
Jennifer Unlimited
If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.
Catherine
When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow!
Kathy Buckley
I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb and I’m also not blonde.
Dolly Parton
If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
Sue Grafton
I’m not going to vacuum ’til Sears makes one you can ride on.
Roseanne Barr
Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
Roseanne Barr
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping.
Men invade another country.
Elayne Boosler
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
Maryon Pearson
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man if you want anything done, ask a woman.
Margaret Thatcher
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
Gloria Steinem
I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty… But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out…
Phyllis Diller
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: ‘No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.’
Eleanor Roosevelt
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, ‘Lillian, you should have remained a virgin…’
Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
